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The only real marker of reality, the last vestige of the mind’s connection to the body of the creature, now almost abjectly object, animal, property is in her movement. There is no part of my body that is not physically, palpably hurting, aching dully or stinging with pain without reprieve. The endorphins have long worn off – a frustrating paradox. What is now pain that I want direly to escape was precisely what was integral in bringing about the incredible rush that I had craved all my life in the first place. Such sadistic pain giving such perverse pleasure, and now, even feeling the full extent of hurt and no longer able enjoy it, there remained a deep need, an almost mechanical response to you. Like a child awaiting Santa, the Gothic version of that tale.It starts from my toes to my feet, neatly caned in rows from sole up, the design similar to that on my back, ass and thighs, only from different instruments of torture. The layered stripes now a mix of angry red, bruised. I was glad to see that both of us had smiles."This way Sir. Mr Holtzman is waiting for you." I am sorry for getting you up so early. I could have taken a city bus over." Think nothing of it. It is the changes in routine that I like about my job and this is one of them." I like change too but not like the old Chinese curse. I do wish I had your ability to fight or shoot when I needed it just a short time ago." I wish you did too but then I would get less to do."Mr Holtzman was waiting at the door and trying to get out was a little girl intent on seeing me. She pushed her way out and ran a dozen feet yelling, "Daddy, daddy, you came back."I picked the girl up and swung her around before putting her back on her feet. "I missed you a lot and so do the other girls. They can't wait for your next visit. Now let's get inside before a bug bites your bum." I pretended to try to pinch her and she screamed like the little girl she was and ran into the house.John Holtzman put out his hand and we.
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